Malted Egg Meltdown- Easter Unplugged

My Visiting Teacher brought a little card and some malted Easter egg candies by and reminded me that Jesus still loves me even though I don’t go to church anymore. I thanked her and gave her a hug and she left. I am not offended that my LDS neighbors still try to get me to go to church or that they believe that their message will one day change my beliefs. It’s not that big a deal anymore and I just thank them and go on with my life, mind my own business, and try to be a good person and good neighbor in spite of my lack of belief in God. I think if Jesus had existed he’d probably consider me a decent example of his best teachings and be ok with who I am. I’d be proud to be considered Christlike but have no desire to be associated with most Christians.

I tossed the card into a round filing cabinet by my chair and stared at the malted eggs. Suddenly the memories washed over me and I was overcome with emotion. Who knew malted eggs could be such a pungent reminder of the true meaning of Easter? So much time has gone by that when I allow myself to recall the experience it almost feels like a scene from a movie I watched rather than something I went through. The memories go into a box and the box gets buried in the back of the closet and I try to not even notice its there. And then something will trigger the memories. This morning it was malted Easter eggs and suddenly I found myself sobbing big huge gasps of sadness.

eggs meme

Twenty four years ago on Easter Sunday I killed my daughter. She was already mostly dead but I pulled the plug, so to speak. You don’t really just pull a plug. There are tubes and needles and bandages to remove and blood and iodine and lots of smelly fluids, then some gasping and strange little quaking movements as the air is leaving the body. And then it’s done.

She was born on January 4th with some pretty severe genetic defects and right away I knew something was wrong because her first cry was odd, almost under water sounding. I’d had an emergency C-section and they wouldn’t let me off the operating table to see her or have any interaction the first hour of her difficult life. It made me nearly crazy to not know what was going on but my husband (now ex) was making all the decisions while I was recovering from a very botched anesthesia and C-section surgery.

Her first two weeks were harrowing and she came close to death numerous times. I got to see her when she was a week old but she was already flayed out with tubes and needles and Phenobarbital as they worked to fix the many problems. I almost fainted the first time I saw her like that. I didn’t know how anyone could survive all the intrusions and trauma.

Doug (not his real name)  was the Elders Quorum President at the time and was sure that his calling and election had been made sure because the Patriarch who gave him his Patriarchal Blessing promised him that he was destined to walk on the right hand of God, to be a Bishop and a Stake President and more. He was “in the zone” and believed everything out of his mouth was inspired and that he could just say the word and God would fulfill his wishes.

I was not in much of a condition to make any decisions but I kept asking him to be merciful and if Jasmine needed to be allowed to die that he should stop begging the doctors to keep doing such extreme things to keep her alive. He chided me for having little faith. The Doctors at Cedar Sinai in Beverly Hills, Ca were the best of the best. We had Met Life Insurance at the time and they put no limits on the care we could get for our baby. And what a cash cow we proved to be.

Operations, therapies, drugs, stints, feeding tubes, etc. all were employed to keep her alive. Not viable, but alive. She had swallowed muconium (baby poo) during the C-section and it had damaged her lungs. She had been having seizures while I was pregnant with her but I just thought she was an active fetus. She had lost a ton of blood when she had a seizure while they had her on an ECHMO machine to clean the blood going back into her lungs and dislodged the tube going into an artery in her neck. That only exacerbated the brain damage she may have already had.

She had a small hole in her heart and they performed surgery to correct that. She had a cleft in the soft palette in the roof of her mouth that made it difficult for feeding. She had underdeveloped esophageal muscles and would vomit up most anything put in her stomach and so had to have a feeding tube that bypassed all that. She had severely clubbed feet and who knows what else wrong with her. It was determined that she had Trisome 2, a very rare genetic disorder that only 16 people had ever been linked to. Some were semi retarded and lived into adulthood and some had died in infancy. We had no idea what her future would be like.

After three months of all this trauma and travel 90 miles a day to the hospital to see her they finally let us bring her home the day before Easter. I felt like I was in a getaway car leaving a bank robbery as we drove her home. We had a home health nurse to help us with her heart monitor and other gear but she was stabilizing and seemed to be breathing on her own, holding down formula, and even reacting to us a little when we held her. She would follow me with her eyes and smile, but it was most likely just gas. Still, it was almost normal.

(Stay tuned for the rest of this story)


Sharing Truth not Bias

Do you really want truth? Does anyone really want truth? Maybe you feel this way.


Consider this article:

And consider this one:

One of these articles clearly discourages free thinking and communication of different ideas. It basically says to stop thinking and be damn sure you don’t tell anyone those scary doubts that creep into your noodle. The other one points out the dangers of shutting off your brain and not questioning the status quo. To steal from MMM’s home page, ‘one matters.’

Which do you think personally is more important? Blind obedience or intelligent introspection? Carefully culled sharing of information or open dialog? I seriously think that most people if given that question in absence of any backdrop of debate would most likely side with the intelligent/open dialog opinion.

Which article gets more traffic? I can’t for sure say how many hits the MMM piece has, but since he recently posted his blog passed 2 million views in about a year, one can assume it was quite a lot. 1 This post on the Fridge door? Comparatively it was read a measly 2500 times.

Possible reason for differences:

1. My writing sucks, very high possibility I will give you that!

2. Getting a major news outlook to carry your post, big coup. Guess it pays to be on the side of the corporation that wants good propaganda .

3.  We seek to confirm our own bias more than we seek truth.


I’d say that it is more likely that the second and third reasons are behind the popularity than the first. 2 Why? Because there are millions of people that feel the same way the MMM does. Relatively speaking there are very few that have allowed themselves the freedom of thought that this man does not and thus have arrived at a different conclusion in regards to the religion he is so confident is the one true church of God on the planet. Millions are looking for confirmation of the truth of that which they already hold dear. It is actually something that people will actively do when faced with uncomfortable facts that they can’t deny. In psychology terms this is called the backfire effect.

These days there is much buzz challenging the authority of  religions over the minds of men. Most likely due to the rise of the none’s, militant atheists and a growing secular humanist movement. All this discussion will for a period of time actually enhance the traffic to the sites that willingly confirm bias even when they actively discourage free thought and sharing of ideas.

It also helps that the establishment has funding and influence to promote propaganda that is sympathetic to its cause.  Do you really think a church/corporation that wholly owns a marketing company that brags about its ability to sell you on something using your heart would pass up an opportunity to help you doubt your doubts? 3

The fact of confirmation bias and the ability for a majority to influence a minority, simply via propaganda, means ideas have mass. They don’t just disappear, even when proven wrong. It takes time and patience to replace a falsehood with a truth. The natural reaction of the endangered idea is to band together with other endangered ideas. I think that is why recently Dallin Oaks said the abominal church  “…must be any philosophy or organization that opposes belief in God” This is a far cry from the foundation of Mormonism when Joe Smith declared that God told him all the other religions “…were an abomination in his sight.” Back then it was other religions the idea was competing against, now the biggest threat is no religion. Outdated ideas don’t die easily, they go kicking and screaming.

Religion has an ability to capture the mind of man, we long to believe in a cause that is bigger than ourselves. When mythology is held up as truth via religion it will capture this imagination and desire that is innately human. So how do we change an idea? By understanding the purpose it plays. Don’t forget that religion fills a need inside to be part of something greater, it satisfies a desire for wonder and imagination. So next time a believer asks you what you have to offer, realize that they aren’t just looking for the truth, they also want fulfillment, wonder and hope. Don’t forget to tell them how lucky you feel to be here and now, how wondrous it is that you are a walking talking collection of stardust. Don’t just tell them why their beliefs are mistaken, tell them metaphorically why the Fridge is true and how much more wondrous the world is when you don’t approach it wearing the shackles of preconception. Chances are they will listen better.




  1. I am sure it helped that the Deseret News carried a copy of this post as well… hmmm wonder why that is?
  2. of course that could be my own bias towards my writing 🙂
  3. HeartSell, getting people to do what you want while keeping them from thinking logically about it!

Learning Motherhood from Day One: What Children Are Taught in Primary.

As I’ve considered the messages girls and women in the LDS church are forced to digest, I decided to begin at the beginning: Primary. For anyone not familiar with the LDS church, this is the organization that teaches the children ages 18 months to 11 years old.

Last year my “faith crisis” was in full swing. I strongly doubted the truth claims of the LDS church and was trying to gently let my husband know of my change of heart. I didn’t know how I could tell our children that I no longer believed. And then one Sunday I picked up my four year old daughter from her Sunbeam class and out she came with a white veil in her hair and plastic faux-pearls about her neck. And with a big smile she told me, “I can get married, Mom!” It took everything I had not to show my displeasure. I was taking my children to church in spite of my overwhelming doubt because I thought they’d be learning how to be good people. But I was wrong. They weren’t learning to be kind, or use soft words, or to be nice to animals. My four-year-old baby was learning she needed to get married.

Screen Shot 2014-04-15 at 12.14.21 AM

(This photo was obviously not taken at an LDS church)

Although my daughter’s Primary teacher took some creative license in order to make that day’s lesson fun, a perusal of the church website that night showed me that the lesson was indeed about getting married and why each child would need to get married in order to return to Heavenly Father. Don’t ask me to explain the marriage obsession of Joseph Smith and the church he formed. Since I began to think more critically I have been unable to determine why marriage would be required to enter the kingdom of God. I suppose that’s beside the point and totally my own fault for not having a testimony of the truthiness of eternal marriage.

Looking at the materials available on I was able to see some of what our children from ages one-and-a-half to eleven are taught about their roles and what they should be thinking about at this stage of life.

From the 2013 Primary Sharing Time Outline:

Screen Shot 2014-04-14 at 11.14.39 PM

Ask a few children to stand and share why they would like to be married in the temple and what they can do now to prepare for that blessing.

Yes, please, children, share why, at the ripe old age of 5, you are thinking about the when’s, where’s, how’s and why’s of marriage. Please tell us, in your own, pre-elementary school words, how you can prepare now to be married. Should you stop picking your nose? Chewing your hair? Hitting your brother when he makes you mad? These are the types of things five-year-olds are working on. How will perfecting these make you a better wife?

From the 2014 Primary Sharing Time Outline:

Screen Shot 2014-04-14 at 11.18.25 PM

Stand by the “mother” and explain that it is the mother’s responsibility to care for and nurture the family. Ask the children for examples of what mothers do to fulfill their roles, and ask the “mother” to pantomime what they describe.

Guess which child is the mother in this photo. She’s obviously the one holding the bowl, because of course she’s in the kitchen making dinner. Heaven forbid that someone hand the “mother” a checkbook, a briefcase, a stethoscope or a lab coat.

Still in the 2014 Sharing Time Outline:

Screen Shot 2014-04-14 at 11.21.32 PM

Explain that Heavenly Father’s commandment for a man and a woman to be married and have a family is just as important today as it was when Adam and Eve were on the earth. Show pictures of families and let the children point out the man, the woman, and the children.

Should we or should we not ignore the fact that the church still uses the Biblical creation myth to teach the proper form a family should take? Fine, we’ll skip that for now. It bothers me greatly that children are encouraged to “apply” the lesson they have learned by looking at pictures of families and pointing out the man, the woman, and the children. Is a woman with no husband but with children not a family? What about a man and woman who can’t have children? Obviously the only type of family that is acceptable to God has two heterosexual parents and multiple children.

From the Primary 3 Manual, Choose the Right B, Lesson 35, titled, “Temples and Eternal Families”:

Screen Shot 2014-04-14 at 11.25.56 PM

The LDS church places a huge amount of emphasis on temple sealings. Children learn early and often that their families can only be together if they are sealed as an eternal family in the temple of the Lord. Which must mean that they are otherwise separated eternally. Sorry kids. We don’t want to hurt your feelings or upset you, but when you die, mommy and daddy won’t be able to see you anymore because your family wasn’t good enough to go to the temple. I wish your parents loved you enough to choose the right so you can be together again. Unfortunately they love sin more.

Let us not forget the messages of the Children’s Songbook.

Families Can Be Together Forever

While I am in my early years

I’ll prepare most carefully

So I can marry in God’s temple

For eternity.

 This is one of the first songs that many primary children learn. Thus begins an early focus on getting married. In the temple. For eternity. Since you’re five, it’s about time you started thinking about marriage. Now, I’d like you to draw a picture of your future spouse. I see, he looks like this, does he?


The Family is of God

A father’s place is to preside, provide,

To love and teach the gospel to his children.

A father leads in fam’ly prayer to share

Their love for Father in Heaven.

A mother’s purpose is to care, prepare,

To nurture and to strengthen all her children.

She teaches children to obey, to pray,

To love and serve in the fam’ly.


Once again, father provides, mother nurtures. And never the two shall cross.

Next time we’ll take a look at the Young Women’s program, where every Mormon girl learns to either dream of motherhood or wonder if something is wrong with her.

I Know This Church is Truthiness

Truth, if you get in a debate with a former Mormon that left the church for so called intellectual reasons the whole topic revolves around it. The fact is most religions declare one way or another they have the truth right from God himself. Muslim’s say it is in the Quran, Jews say it’s in the Torah, Mormons got the Book of Mormon, Jehovah’s Witnesses focus on the Biblical New Testament.1 Catholics claim the whole bible and have a valid argument they were the first Christians. Protestants claim christianity was whacked by Constatine and pick out various parts of the bible to focus on for their particular sect, some more reasonable and some that think holding snakes is proof of truth. To most that are willing to give it a reasonable amount of thought it is pretty obvious that all these claims of truth can’t all be right. While there are things most religions agree on, being nice to others for example, there are doctrinal points that are mutually exclusive from faith to faith.

But what is truth? How can you discern fact from fiction? That is the sermon from the Fridge today, inspired in no small part by this article recently published by the corporation I once relied on to teach me truth. The reason we seek out truth is our need to understand the world we live in. It is a desire to answer 3 big questions. Where did we come from? Why are we here? And where are we going? It’s no small coincidence that these questions center around our birth, our purpose in life and our inevitable death. Everyone eventually contemplates these mysteries at some point in their existence. Religions purport to answer these questions and gather their flocks of people that have similar opinions on these topics. There is no shortage of people willing to declare their ideas, philosophies and doctrines and many of them sound really good. But just because something sounds good doesn’t make it true. We can look no further than your local used car salesman to understand this basic principle. My father summed up the need to remain skeptical of claims with this bit of wisdom. “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”

That brings us to truthiness. What is truthiness? It’s a fairly new word in the English language, so new it has found its way to wikipedia, but not yet a single dictionary. So according to wikipedia:

Truthiness is a quality characterizing a “truth” that a person making an argument or assertion claims to know intuitively “from the gut” or because it “feels right” without regard to evidence,logicintellectual examination, or facts.

When you learn to discern truth from truthiness you begin to realize that religions are loaded with it! The truthiness I mean. There are great verses of poetry, sublime visuals, and some really intensely moving stories in the scriptures of all religions.2  One thing that is very common is they all proclaim some aspect of philosophy that coincides with some portion of our personal outlook in such a way you can only say it ‘feels’ right.

This tendency for evaluation of a topic based on how it feels in our gut is an aspect of human nature. It manifests itself in another type of informational transference that we call urban legend. If you are anywhere in the civilized world and know what the term urban legend means you have no doubt heard of Urban legends propagate incredibly fast in todays society, thanks to our connectedness. I some times think of it as spam from my less skeptical relatives. Why does it propagate? Because of truthiness. People send it on because it confirms a bias they already have. The last thing they are gonna do is check the facts because that is the last thing they want to do. The result of this? Well, I think it is affecting the rising generation. I have noticed that the younger people that have been raised with google in their lives have a tendency to be skeptical of urban legends. They will fact check them and even at times do the proverbial reply to all and show the facts that don’t agree with the email about the 10,000th executive order the president has issued in his effort to rule the world.

If you think about it the explosion of memes in your Facebook feed is just another example of this love of truthiness that we can’t seem to get enough of.

another meme

With all these memes and legends flying around, it is no surprise that our youth is developing an immunity to them in the form of quick fact checking? Is it no surprise then than the rise of the information age correlates with the rise in people disassociating themselves from religion all together?

interent vs religion

The same thing that ties a person to a religion is the same thing that makes you believe an urban legend, it is about how it feels in your gut. Consider this declaration from a person I recently debated with:

“I prayed and asked God for myself and He told me Joseph was His true prophet. That’s enough for me. Therein lay my defense. If it’s not enough for you to believe after I have witnessed to you, this is for you to figure out. I have nothing to prove to you, but to myself only, and that proof has long been evident to me. Against this defense, there is no offense.”

As you can see he feels it deep in his gut. I would have to agree with him that this is truly the only defense when it comes to believing in any major facet of any religion. He’s also right that as long as he trusts feelings over facts there is no way to ever change his mind.

Its TrueYou see before you can test the truth of a proposition you have to be able to prove it false. If all roads lead to it being true, then it is a moot point. After all that is how one knows the Fridge is god is it not?

The fact that the believer is often so radically convinced of his truth that he readily declares that nothing can ever change his mind is unfortunate. Because it is the same reason people follow Warren Jeff’s, it is the same reason Muslims fly planes into towers and strap bombs onto kids. It isn’t logical at all, it is completely emotional. If you don’t believe me, ask a zealous Muslim, or a zealous christian or a polygamist that believes wholeheartedly they are ‘doing the right thing’ about why their religion is true. Think about their answers, and more so think about how you think about their answers. If they are sincere do you tell yourself they must be mistaken? Do you think they are reading into their feelings answers they want to hear rather than the truth? Then ask yourself…

How are you any different?

We are readily able to point out when another person is just seeing what they want to see and yet at the same time incredibly blind in looking at our own failings, here is a bit of truthiness found in Matthew 7:3-4.

And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

think about thinkingNow this is some truthiness that I am pretty confident is true as well.3 We’d do well to think more about how our own brains are taking in and evaluating information. Do a little googling and fact checking of our own biases to see if there just might be a flaw in our own thinking.

Why check ourselves? Because my dad was right, that MLM might just be selling you snake oil that makes you feel good. That ion impregnated wristband is gonna be just as effective as a placebo. Not to say the placebo effect isn’t at all valid or possibly worth using to your benefit, it just might not be what you signed on for.

Recently I stumbled across a latin version of my dad’s advice. Nuillus in Verba; it means ‘take nobody’s word for it.’4  It was the motto of the Royal Society of London that helped usher in the beginning of the scientific era that has improved all our lives immensely. Pretty good motto for figuring out truth isn’t it? Should one of the peoples word you ought to be doubting be your own? If you think another person can be mistaken wouldn’t it be arrogantly foolish to assume you couldn’t also suffer the same myopic reasoning?

So when a person declares they ‘know’ their religion is true, what they are really saying is they know it is truthiness. The only problem with that is men have been manufacturing truthiness and selling it as a cure all snake oil since the beginning of humanity. If truth, not truthiness5 it for  is what you are looking for, isn’t a little skepticism in order?

who you follow meme



  1. note to self, all religions with staying power have a book!
  2. No matter your opinion on the morality of the story of Issac and Abraham there is no denying that it is an intense set of circumstances to consider
  3. could just be my own bias though., ironic isn’t it?
  4. Ok I seriously hope you googled the definition of this for yourself by now! 🙂
  5. Stephen Colbert gave us the word truthiness, in case you are wondering where it came from

Ted Would Be Offended

The latest LDS meme to flood Facebook feeds in the worlds of Mormon is from the Normons, a group of bloggers on a crusade to point out how normal they are 🙂 I should know, I think I am a pretty normal Mormon too. You heard it right, I’m still a mormon. Technically you would call me an Atheist Mormon.1 You see I haven’t yet resigned my membership. Since I now see it all as simply a kind of club some guys made up 184 years ago it doesn’t really have any hold over me like it used to. I’m not actually afraid of eternal condemnation or missing out on becoming a God at a future date. I just don’t believe in it anymore. My only reason to resign is to get my name off the roles so they can’t claim me as a member in the same way they claim some 60% of the numbers on their rosters even though the are completely inactive and a large majority of them don’t believe it is even a remote possibility that it is the one true church on the face of the earth. My biggest reason not to do so is it will crush my moms hopes that one day I might return to belief. Crushing hope is something I loathe to do, especially when it is my family’s hope. 2

So I claim to be a normal mormon who lacks a belief in God. I have a very good friend that silently disbelieves in God and yet he goes to church every week with his wife and doesn’t let on to a soul other than me of his disbelief. That begs the question. Is atheism really all that normal or do we eat babies and worship evil? Dallin H Oaks recently called atheists out as anti-christs, the Korihors of our day and age.3  I don’t know about you but I was raised to believe that anti-christs were devils children I mean that’s why you shouldn’t listen to AC/DC right?

So am I really an anti-christ simply because I don’t think a guy from 2000 years ago was literally the divine offspring of God in heaven and a newly married teen age girl? If you think that is the case, I would ask you this. anti santaAre you anti-santa if you don’t believe he is literally a rotund reindeer rancher that breeds his steeds to have glowing noses and can magically get to every house on the planet in under 24 hours? I think personally I am very pro santa because of the good that mythology brings to the world. Is it possible that I can find value in many of the christian teachings without agreeing with all of them nor believing he was God incarnate? Better yet, isn’t that exactly what we all do anyways? I mean does anyone really take literally Jesus’ admonition to hate their family, or do you interpret it in a way that isn’t so caustic? My point is we all pick and choose from the smorgasbord of belief. Somethings we believe in literally and somethings we turn into metaphor until it fits our world view.

Which brings us to TED. In an effort to look more normal, this guy metaphor-ed general conference into a spiritual TED talk. Something to not be ‘afraid’ of.  The first thought that came to mind when I read it was I haven’t yet met a person that was scared of LDS general conference. I suppose someone out their might fear narcolepsy, but most of us look forward to a nap as the almost hypnotic cadence of the speakers lull us off into a state of extreme suggestibility.4 The second thought I had was “REALLY?” I mean seriously I am an avid consumer of TED talks and enjoy them immensely. They are anything but pedantic repetition of the same dogma over and over. They are all about questioning the status quo, specifically challenging the ways we currently think about the world. To me conference couldn’t be further away from the sprit of TED talks. Just take a look for yourself and see what I mean.

Oh and one more thing. Normon was right about not being afraid, but it isn’t dogma we shouldn’t be scared of. It’s new ideas.

  1. provided you don’t take the whole Fridge thing too seriously that is!
  2. Now that I think about it, that is definitely a factor in keeping this blog anonymous, truth can be pretty hope crushing during the time it takes to become accustomed to new knowledge.
  3. If you read the Book of Freon you will see this was a profesy of the the Fridge that religions in the future would soon band together against the non-religious, 50 years ago the catholic church was the church of the devil, now its the people that don’t believe in the devil that make up the church of the devil. Ironic isn’t it.
  4. follow this link!, it s super interesting

Why Women Really Don’t Want The Priesthood

The Ordain Women movement is all the buzz these days both in and out of the LDS church.  If you remember Elder Oaks warned us in 1993 that those dangerous feminist thinkers are the worst offenders with their hard questions about how things used to be and how they ought to be now. Women just seem to be getting uppity all over planet these days, even churches in Russia agree with Elder Oaks.  These women just can’t seem to understand their roles in society. In this millennium the LDS anti-feminist efforts seem much more moderated though, they aren’t even un-friending you for believing in a mother in heaven 1 anymore like they used to. In fact these days the only way you can get the boot from the church is to get people follow you instead of them.2

no girls


All this exposure on the inter-webs has created all sorts of back and forth between people in both camps. There is this guy who appears to think that chairs with padding are worth more than the power of God to do miracles. If you want to get a good feel for all the reasons the active minority is so adamant about this effort just scoot on over to and peruse a few topics.

Now while I don’t agree with padless chair whiner, he does have a valid point about this movement representing a minority. My own informal polling of women and men shows that men are by and large good with the idea of women getting the priesthood (ironically padless chair himself is a minority) Women in the church for the most part don’t really seem to want the priesthood. Of the women I personally know that do think it is a good thing, most of them have left the church. So I think it is worth considering why. Why do women generally not want the priesthood?

One possibility is they are a lot like my pet. My dog and I have a symbiotic relationship, I give her food, and she entertains me. She defends the house and lays at my feet for nothing more than scraps from the table. On the plus side though she has a pretty cushy life, doing what she wants every day. (except when I ban her to the back porch or am upset by presents she leaves on the rug) She gets professionally bathed and groomed regularly and we go on walks together. You might call her my trophy dog, 🙂 but my point is she is completely content with the way things are. Change is often fearful for people as well as animals, something mentioned not long ago on the door of the Fridge via a parable of moving cheese.

women v men

Another possibility is the ladies have been sold a bill of goods by the church that they naturally absorb. Here is a meme that my wife and I got a good laugh over because it certainly applied to the way we perceive ourselves.

Is there something in female DNA that leads to a natural tendency to subjugate yourself? It’s certainly beyond my knowledge of genetics to assert one way or another. I do sense a pattern though. You might have seen it in previous posts about religion stealing your self confidence and making you fat in the process.

Or maybe it isn’t natural at all and the desire to shy away from getting the priesthood is simply repetition and repeated suggestion. You know the same stuff that we say causes girls to have unhealthy role models to follow because it is splattered all over the media etc, etc. Any good strong church member knows that in ward council meeting women must always defer to the bishop. In the most holy place women can go they must veil their faces. Why is that? Are they not good enough to look or be looked upon? Is it simply the case that most the women don’t want the authority because they haven’t even considered it?

freed slaves

By any standard of measure the females in the church currently play a submissive role. This in large part is because the power of God himself is enthroned in the male gender. when it comes to submission there is some pretty significant psychology at work, if there wasn’t then I suspect 50 Shades of Grey would have been a complete flop.


wake upThe thing about tricks of psychology is all a person needs to do to gain back the power and control for themselves is to wake up. Once you think about thinking and how your mind works, how emotions and reactions can cause you to do things you otherwise wouldn’t, it gives you the ability to choose rather than to simply react.

Now if there is one moral that I learned from being Mormon that I will always treasure it is the freedom of choice. Just know that sometimes due to normal human psychology you are loosing that freedom. The OW movement is about that choice. If these ladies had their druthers, they would stay in the church and participate on a fully equal level. Denying them choice will cause them to eventually leave and find other places where that choice is ok. Sure LDS leaders can claim that it is God doing the denying, but you see prophetic track records on that same argument in regards to the black people just don’t hold up. According to the latest church stance the leaders say they were just stuck in a rut leading back to the people that weren’t as enlighten as we are now.  Is there really any reason to believe it is different this time?

Personally I am confident the idea of a revelation giving women back the priesthood they once exercised to heal the sick will eventually happen. Sure there are leaders that are afraid of that being a slippery slope. They fear if women get the priesthood soon they will have to let in halflings and before long your dogs, cats, and then Klingons and Romulans will want to be ordained, oh where will it ever stop! But I digress, the reason I am sure is LDS female priesthood ordination is only a generation or two away is because of another trick of human psychology. A good idea for society spreads.3 Like the ants realizing they out numbered the grasshoppers in A Bugs Life; a good idea even if started by a few eventually becomes a realization by many.

 It only takes one brave soul willing to stand up to oppression for revolution to take hold. This movement is in its infancy, but the idea will spread. Eventually the majority of the ladies will wake up and then the church will have to adapt or fade into history along with the other religions humanity has left behind when they couldn’t keep up with the times. You see, tyranny and oppression are common themes in human history.

Fortunately so is revolution.







  1. oops, I should have said talking about believing in a mother in heaven, its all good and dandy to sing the hymn that refers to her and even believe she exists just remember she is NOT to be venerated!
  2. Note to self, you may need to resign soon!
  3. It’s an evolutionary advantage to have a better society in the long run, and for centuries we have been accepting and helping the weakest of our kind survive and even thrive, because people like Stephen Hawking have good ideas that make the world better for all of humanity