So I recently read this post about us people that try to point out issues with the LDS church that have affected our lives. It lists 4 apparently secret things that we apostates don’t want you to know. I felt like I needed to comment on them.
The Big list fallacy
Umm this is only a fallacy if the items on the list are untrue. Think about it, assume you went to buy a car and the carfax report had a huge list of various accidents the car had been in. Would you ignore it just because the list was long? The things on the list are relevant because they speak to the character and honesty of those whom you trust.
This is kind of ironic that this is the second item of the 4 things. I mean the first item was this idea that getting too specific with a long list of issues means you should ignore it. So if you get general about the issues of concern, such as leaders deceiving followers… You should toss that out too? Hmm seems like there is no legit way to actually criticize the faith. This is interesting since the LDS faith in its own scriptures gets to call all the other faiths an abomination. Is this really a fair playing field?
This one struck me as odd. Of course many people are happy being LDS. I know hundreds of them. Including myself. I was very happy and had an overall positive experience in the church. I didn’t leave because wanted to. I felt I must to remain honest with myself. I realized the church was not true, simple as that. I’d never been a member just because it was a nice club to belong to. So staying and pretending to believe because I liked the way of life it represented seemed wrong to me.
This is saying that those of us who see people stay in the church think they are not being honest with themselves. There is some truth to that for sure. But I assure you we aren’t out to flatter anyone out of the church. It is those that stay that must justify 14 year old girls coerced into marriage with a 37 year old man. It is those that stay that must justify murdering drunk people by cutting off their heads as an act of God. If you think we are flattering you by pointing out the requirements of integrity it takes to call this out as bad stuff. You are very wrong.
4 things we want you to know
Now here are 4 reasons we ‘anti’s’ as you call us actually speak out and bring these things up. I think I speak for many of us, but if not feel free to comment below.
We love you
Most of us have family and friends in the church. From our perspective you have been misled and deceived. Imagine if your sister was getting married and you knew for a fact the guy was cheating on her. Even if she was deliriously happy with him would you not say anything? Would you let the whole deal go down because you felt she might never even discover his philandering? Or would you speak up and say something to her? Many of us feel the need to speak up and point out the ways you have been misled. 1
We hope to teach you
Many of us have discovered underlying reasons why it is possible for people to be mislead in massive ways and even for it to be completely unintentional due to underpinnings of human psychology. We hope to give you new information so that you have an opportunity to make a more informed decision. We want you to know there are alternate explanations we think you should take into account. We want you to know that knowledge is not a sin.
There is life after Mormonism
This was particularly scary for me. In hind site I have a whole new perspective for people that converted to the LDS faith while on my mission. Realizing you might not have all that answers and seeking new ones is often terrifying. Personally I have discovered even atheism has a soul. Life without religion is in many ways more sweet, fulfilling and eloquently special than it ever was in the faith. Is it scary to take those steps forging your own opinions rather than regurgitating what you have always been taught? Very much so. To me however it has been worth it despite the fact that it made me an outcast in my own family and among my peers. Think about that. The fruit of authenticity is worth the trial of deep loss. We aren’t trying to bring you down. We are trying to lift you up and show you clarity. Unfortunately it might mean facing some uncomfortable facts that for a time can cause pain. But like a physician cleaning a wound we know that is how you heal.
The divine is still in you even if the religion is not
There is one thing you realize when you question what you always relied on. The strength to overcome, the person you always counted on to see you through wasn’t some magical invisible being. It wasn’t even leaders that promised to never mislead you and when they did wouldn’t even apologize for it. We hope you will discover as we did, the strength you relied on is you. It always was. All the good things the church claimed it provided came from people like you. It always has. You made the church awesome because you were in it. If you choose to grow beyond it. Guess what! You will bring that awesomeness with you.
Do you have a friend that has questioned her faith? Have you asked her why? Are you scared to? I hope not. We aren’t out to eat babies or destroy lives. Just to let you know there are other sides to the story. Generally speaking I think any post mormon you talk to will encourage you to seek out information both supportive and critical to what you have been taught. Contrast that to the idea that you must be afraid of anything that might upset your beliefs. Does truth really need to fear doubt? I hope not.
“It is error only, and not truth, that shrinks from inquiry.”
– Thomas Paine