Supporting the Cos

In light of the renewed accusations of rape against Bill Cosby, I would like to share an article by Tom S. Monsoon, from the 2014 Shark Week edition of the Sinsign.

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Much has been made in recent weeks of the vile sexual allegations against our first and greatest comic, Bill Cosby.

Amid this chorus of confusion, many that trust in the Cos have been led into doubt. Wherefore I say unto you, be of good cheer. The laughter you once knew shall be restored unto you. With the Holy Joke as your guide, your good humor shall not fail.

For those in doubt, I exhort you to remember the scripture, ‘By their networks shall you know them.’ Therefore, search in your heart for memories of the Cosby Show. If you ever laughed or learned from them, let those happy episodes be your guide. Furthermore, ask yourselves. Can those vile accusations coexist with your feelings of love and adoration for the Cos? I say unto you, no. Therefore cast them out and doubt no more.

cosby - remember the cake

In keeping with our quest for levity, trust not in the methods of man: to wit, historical, forensic and objective evidence, for they are the enemy of lightness. Heeding the stories of those women will destroy the laughter in your heart and draw you into the dark.

For the resentment and anger which lie in their hearts are the surest proof of their false wittiness. It matters not what injustice they may have endured … you will know the righteous and truthful by the love and good humor you find in their hearts, not by their bitter anguish and pain.

And to those who seek actively to destroy our noble Cos, ask yourselves: Why such hatred for a man whose financial empire has brought so much joy to the world? Will you allow the words of so few to destroy the happiness of so many?

I exhort you and all of you to remain faithful to the Cos. Wear your sacred sweater, attend all his reruns and celebrate every season. Welcome his blu rays of light into your home, pray for the lost episodes and seek him out on tour. Above all, remain faithful to the routines he has revealed. For only the faithful will stand up to great applause at the last day.

I testify unto you that his humor has power, even over the grave. He has promised everlasting laughter for the faithful few. I have laughed at the man and I will laugh again, even the last laugh at the last day. As the great one once said, ‘Join me now in laughter and let us think on these things no more.’

Amen

 

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