Loving a Beast is Normal 

Beauty and the Beast won’t get my money!! Disney, how could you ruin such a great story of implied beastiality with a sideline gay character!!!

Or at least that’s how the uproar over this latest appearance of homosexuality in a major production appears to me.

I mean sure the beast magically becomes human after the girl sees he’s really a good person on the inside, but doesn’t that same metaphor apply to seeing a gay person for who they are on the inside too?

The irony of this great example of cognitive dissonance in religion vs reality is about as high as I’ve ever seen it.

Next time someone goes off on Beauty and the Beast over the implications that being gay is ok, point out the homosexuality is implied no more than the beastiality was long before it made it to the big screen… Girls don’t fall in love with animals (beasts) every day you know!

Maybe the real point of this timeless tale is we should stop judging people by how they look… or the bodies they have! Seems like a good idea don’t you think ?

 

Tribal Loyalty 

So today I had an epiphany. Well actually it was a few days ago, today I figured out how to write it down.

Our human default wiring is set to “tribal loyalty.”

That means we tend to cherish those of our own tribe more and those that aren’t part of it not so much.

I have even noted that those that break ranks with the tribe are often most vilified because of this natural default setting.

This came to me after a discussion with a friend. He was very upset by poor Chinese people willing to work for less money just to put rice on the table and thus steal the job from a poor American with a Fridge and a cell phone. Clearly America is in his tribe.

I personally only see poor people in these two groups now, some clearly worse off than others. It dawned on me I have been going to China a LOT lately for work. I realized by getting to know them and their families and their lives that my ‘tribe’ was now bigger than it used to be.

So moral of the story?

-> Try to expand your tribe <-

Get to know someone you wouldn’t normally know. It leads to great epiphanies and just might change that natural default setting a notch or two!

If You are Gay Leave the LDS Church Now

You might be suffering

There are lots of people in the LDS faith suffering from same sex attraction (as the church calls it). It’s a difficult topic for sure. The people in charge are basically telling you that God says you are broken and in need of healing. This isn’t a new concept or policy in the faith, its just the way it is right now. Not unlike how it was for the black people a couple of generations ago.

If you are gay or lesbian, or a transgender Mormon you might be hoping that God will understand. You might yearn for God to tell his leaders you aren’t broken, or the enemy or some sort of deviant in need of help. Because deep down you simply feel misunderstood.

You might even be contemplating drastic action like so many in this same desperate situation have done. To all of you that don’t feel loved by the God you have been taught about since you were little. Please. Please hear the council of the Fridge and hearken to the word.

The LDS Leaders are wrong. You matter, you are valuable, you are worthy, you are fine as you are. If you needed a push, an understanding about these guys and how they really feel about you, just watch this video.

Save Yourself

These aren’t people that care about your welfare. These are old men, stuck in their ways like the prophets 50 years ago. Stuck on the idea that black people had the curse of Cain. There may come a day when they admit their mistake, but it sure ain’t gonna happen while they are alive. Best case given the track record? Fifty years from now they might accept you.

 

left-comic

 

History repeats itself. This just another example of too little happening too late right before you eyes, it follows if you are LGB or T you should leave the faith. Leave it now for your own safety and peace of mind. Don’t fret about where you will go. Thanks to the connectivity of this generation you will find your home quickly. Reach out to those that post on social media about their disillusion with the faith, you will find acceptance and love for who you are. Not for who some old fart wants you to be.

Save yourself my friends. Don’t let your life be wasted by old men so concerned about the insidious ‘gays’ that they totally screwed the pooch and missed the lesson on cyber security about not letting their secrets get leaked online. You will find love for who you are, it can save your life. Trust me on this one. Leave now. Please seek out the better life beyond the hand you have been dealt because it is waiting there for you. Reach out and grab it. Don’t worry about where you will go. There are sympathetic people waiting to catch you. Have faith to take the leap away from the church. You will find your place. I’m sure of it.

 

Dear Believer, Why Does God Only Help You? 

The Promise

As a preacher/missionary/believer you promise that your God will answer my prayers. You assure me that is why you believe. Because God answered your prayers, you promise that your God will help me in my times of need as well. It’s for that reason you tell me I should believe the same as you do.

As a natural preacher and a person that devoted two years to a mission for my own faith I think I know where you are coming from. When you are talking about your experiences and how you see the world it feels good. It feels emotionally satisfying. You ‘feel the spirit’ when you share your own experiences and ideas about God. When you are talk to another person and they emotionally respond to your testimony it like gas on fire and multiplies what you feel many, many fold.

Sharing Emotional Experiences

If you study religious practices you’ll find it’s a common practice that communal beliefs are reinforced by sharing them.

Muslims have their group prayer, Christians their healing sessions, Mormons have testimony meetings, Catholics commune, Pentecostals dance and sing being consumed by the spirit. In all these cases the common thread is an act, an outward physical expression of their belief and a sympathetic response from their community.

Invariably you leave such a meeting uplifted, filled with an experience that confirms your faith is the ‘right one.’ Feeling a desire to share it more. Willing to enter the realm of the heathen to share this gospel that gives you so much joy.

Hidden Fears

I wonder though if deep down you realize you are envisioning a world that you hope for but don’t see. One where all wrongs are righted, things are fair and good people don’t suffer. Maybe that’s why you bristle when asked for evidence or are shown information that shakes your faith. Maybe deep down you know it’s all an illusion created and sustained via a community willing to reinforce that belief. A community in which each individual is on just as shaky ground internally while they too publicly profess confident belief in what their heart desires.

Hmmm… maybe the reason I preach the kindness of the Fridge is in an effort to capture that same sense of oneness among my new community of heathens and apostates.

Maybe I think my goal of faith in the improbable is one where religions no longer impose tribalism and hypocrisy on their followers. Maybe my insane hope that humanity will be able to just get along is shared by others no matter how crazy it sounds.

Feels are Reals

Even now as I write this that familiar feeling in my chest swells, burning with confirmation. A feeling that in the past I invariably took as a sign God was telling me I was on the right path. The inward realization of an outpouring of love by community, friends and family. A hope of shared purpose and common ideals. When I see some bit of wisdom from the Fridge shared on Facebook or Reddit, it warms my heart. When I see that hundreds of thousands of times these words have been read and touched someone’s life it makes me feel good. In short, as a heathen and lost soul by definition of my previous faith I still feel the same spirit and passion in a totally new, albeit completely fake one.

In this new world I have met many people who didn’t have such a positive experience in religion as I did. One such was abused as a little girl, raped and beaten by priesthood holders as she prayed with the faith of a 7 year old to be saved. She told church leaders of her plight and they ignored her pleas for help instead thinking their power of discernment worked because they believed the adult perpetrator over her. Her prayers went unanswered, yet for those that have felt an answer it’s as if they can’t believe she had been ignored. I have seen church members preach to her about how if only she’d have faith their God would come through. Thier God would make it all better because thier God fixes everything… For them.

Why is it your God is always there for you? Why is it your God lets others down but still answers your prayers? Are you special? Do you deserve help finding keys or paying the rent while a little girl is left on her own pleading to not be raped and beaten? Can you feel the spirit of the Fridge right now, pricking your heart, signaling a deep truth is about to unfold?

The Power is Within

I have hope that you might realize your God was you all along. You helped you and the moment you realize that you will realize that you helping others is exactly how your God helps others. It’s not by preaching about your better belief. It’s not by converting others to your faith. Do you want to prove your God helps others and doesn’t ignore their prayers? I’d suggest hold out your hand to help. The Fridge would say; Bend your ear in sympathy to another’s plight. Be there for your fellow being. Don’t take the lazy way out by sending a prayer begging someone else to do what needs to be done. Reach for the improbable, hope for the impossible and do something.

Sure it might feel impossible to help, overwhelming even. But don’t let that stop you from the smallest action. Remember this universal truth found even in fake religions:

The Fridge helps those that help themselves. Those that bless others will be blessed in return.

Don’t believe me? I promise you it’s true. Try it for yourself. 🙂

“Let’s think the unthinkable, let’s do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.”

– Douglas Adams

The Secret Rules of Doctrine, Something Needs to Change

In an effort to become a mainstream religion the church of the Fridge will adopt a secret rule book that only the leaders get to read. Of course it is by this rule book that all members will be judged. This is only for the good of the membership of course. How else will we protect our sweet children? For thus saith the Fridge ‘my house is a house of order and guidance must be therein.’ Even common sense testifies that a clean and ordered Fridge is a beauty to behold!

But first a question, how does that make you feel? Is it bothersome that there is a secret book you don’t get to read, and yet it is by that tome you will be judged either worthy or unworthy of eternal rewards? I mean really think about it. I have been for the last week or so on the heels of this latest debacle in regards to my past faith. What happened was they came out with an update to Handbook 1. One of the important things about Handbook 1 is it provides consistent rules for those in local leadership to use to determine the churches actions in regards to a person’s eternal soul.

Remember (like many religions) the LDS faith offers you salvation, well technically you get salvation for free when you dig into the doctrine. They offer you something even better called exaltation. Here’s the two sentence summary. Salvation comes to everyone that made it to earth (meaning before this earth life you sided with Jesus instead of Lucifer in a big war… or argument. (That part isn’t too clear.) Salvation means you get resurrected and live again. If you are a total dick, like murdering and raping or generally being an atheist that puts you in the Telestial category, if you believed in Jesus but thought the Mormons were nuts you get a Terrestrial reward. Both these are just different levels of salvation. If you to be really awesome and get to live with your family forever, you got to be a card carrying, temple going, endure to the end, Mormon. That is how you become exalted. That is the celestial kingdom and Godhood and Goddesshood,1 worlds without end and all sorts of eternal goodness to keep you from getting bored while living forever.

But the point is, the religion offers you something for your obedience to it. You just have to follow the rules and believe in the doctrine it promotes. If you don’t then you are in what is called a state of apostasy. Something that requires you get kicked out and lose rights to all those big promises.

This is where the secret book comes in. One thing you discover when debating religion with the LDS faith is their definition of doctrine is pretty hard to pin down. Especially if you take a rule they come up with and apply it to their own history. Many mormons will tell you that Prophets speak the word of God over the pulpit in conference, but as soon as you point out something awful said by one of them, all of a sudden they were just old dude’s making a mistake. So you ask how do you know it is really doctrine or not? In my own research every possible rule you can use to call something doctrinal seems to be broken to the point you have zero confidence in figuring out what is legit and what isn’t. 2

I realized something this last week though. There is a book where the rubber hits the road. Because when it comes to your membership in this organization and all the blessings it promises. There is a guideline written down (even if the average member isn’t allowed to read it). It is Handbook 1.

So follow me for a moment. If it is important enough to kick you out of the religion and recant all your blessings doesn’t it make sense that is real doctrine? It would have to be right? Sure you can call the actions taken a policy but the actions wouldn’t be needed if a member wasn’t following the doctrine of the faith. This made a lot of sense to me and I applied it to this latest leak on the update to Handbook 1.


As you look at this the severity of punishment meted out helps you realize how important a particular doctrine is. Some really obvious conclusions… Obedience to church leaders is a doctrine! (If you have been through the temple this should come as no surprise, think about the promises you make there.) Teaching doctrine that is contrary to doctrine is bad. Sure would help to have that definition of what constitutes doctrine then wouldn’t it? Or maybe the issue really is doing something after being told not to…. There is that obedience thing again. Not being totally dedicated to the one true church seems to be a reason to seriously question your membership and all those awesome blessing promises.

Then there is that head scratcher number 4. Gay Marriage requires your membership be questioned. Remember kicking you out is what God wants if you aren’t CK material. So it is pretty obvious that gay marriage is contrary to the doctrine of God as far as the Mormon church is concerned. So bad in fact it seems to be ranked worse than forcible rape, attempted murder and sex abuse.

Seriously? Are you supposed to tell a little girl that has been raped that her rapest has a better chance of being an exalted eternal being than her two loving moms?  Such a concept insults every sense of moral fairness a decent human being has. Why must religion do this to us? Why must sticking to dogma require us to justify doctrine that is so caustic it assaults your very soul? I think this is one reason why at the end of my implicit trust in faith and those who claim the special knowledge of the heavens that something changed in me. To be honest I hope to all that is holy in the Fridge, something will change in you too.

Something has changed within me

Something is not the same

I’m through with playing by the rules

Of someone else’s game

Too late for second-guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It’s time to trust my instincts

Close my eyes and leap!
It’s time to try

Defying gravity

I think I’ll try

Defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye

I’m defying gravity

And you won’t bring me down
I’m through accepting limits

‘Cause someone says they’re so

Some things I cannot change

But ’til I try, I’ll never know!

Too long I’ve been afraid of

Losing love I guess I’ve lost

Well, if that’s love

It comes at much too high a cost!
I’d sooner buy

Defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye

I’m defying gravity

I think I’ll try

Defying gravity

And you won’t bring me down
Unlimited (unlimited)

My future is (future is) unlimited (unlimited)

And I’ve just had a vision

Almost like a prophecy

I know it sounds truly crazy

And true, the vision’s hazy

But I swear, someday I’ll be…
Flying so high! (defying gravity)

Kiss me goodbye! (defying gravity)
So if you care to find me

Look to the western sky!

As someone told me lately,

“Everyone deserves the chance to fly!”
I’m defying gravity!

And you won’t bring me down, bring me down, bring me down!

  1. Albeit that doctrine has been a bit down played as of late
  2. If you are a Mormon reading this, please feel free to comment on how you determine something is doctrinal and something isn’t, I’d be happy to point out the contradiction to the rule that caused me to lose confidence in it.

Calling Evil Good and Good Evil

So all things Mormon have kind of exploded over a new change to church policy preventing kids from joining the church if their parents are gay. Let’s look at scriptural support for this move:

2 Nephi 5 (if it had been written translated in the 21st century):

21 And he had caused the cursing to come upon them, yea, even a sore cursing, because of their iniquity. For behold, they had hardened their hearts against him, that they had become like unto a rainbow; wherefore, as they were happy, and exceedingly fabulous, that they might not be enticing unto my people the Lord God did pronounce them icky. 

22 And thus saith the Lord God: I will cause that they shall be loathsome unto thy people, save they shall repent of their iniquities.

23 And cursed shall be the child of him that livith with the gays; for they shall be cursed even with the same cursing. Even apostate. And the Lord spake it, and it was done.

Ok, supporters of the LDS faith will quickly point out this restriction is only if your parents are in a gay marriage or a have a gay lover. Because apparently as long as these parents aren’t sinning and totally celibate, it’s all good. But that kinda makes your head spin doesn’t it. I mean, if it is about the sin, does that mean soon they will be banning kids with parents that drink coffee? Where will it all end?

Who knows, maybe current leaders are just speaking as men, you know like they did back when they condemned interracial marriage because they thought God cursed people with a different skin color. Given historical evidence on that front we could reasonably expect all this to be disavowed soon since they were willing to even disavow their own scripture once enough time had passed to make it look like they weren’t just following the whims of society.

There are many people upset by this news, people that will be driven to question the veracity of their beliefs, but some won’t. Take a look at this post seen on social media from a member justifying this church action.

Did you get that? God is helping these kids by not bringing them to the church and all that responsibility that goes with it? This particular justification jumped out at me because of an experience I had on my mission.

We had been knocking on doors one evening and came upon a family with a sick baby. They let us in and eventually we offered to give the child a blessing. We did so. I remember the moment vividly because I felt the spirit so strongly. I was sure this child would be healed and blessed it accordingly. We returned to the family the next day and as we approached the home we saw the pastor of a local evangelic congregation leaving. When we entered we saw a very sick baby who was noticeably worse. The parents were very worried and asked for another blessing.  I reprimanded them for not having enough faith that they had called on a different religion to heal their child but said I would bless him again. This time I had a very different blessing pour forth. I blessed the child that if their parents weren’t gonna be baptized and become members that it would be better if he died.

The baby died a day later. I took that as a sign then of the power of God. But now I have to admit I am kind of disgusted in that younger version of me. I am a parent now, I’ve had kids in the hospital, I have lost a child that was like a son to me. And there is one thing I know for sure that I didn’t get as a 19 year old kid. A loving parent would do anything to save the life of their child. Anything within their power to do so would be worth a shot. Putting myself in their shoes now I can’t even begin to condemn them for trying to save that child in anyway they could… And I chided them for it and then blessed their child to die. I am ashamed of that past action.

The baby I blessed to die was buried across the road in a shallow grave not far from their home in the jungles of Guatemala. I remember standing there staring at the mound of dirt, so sure that little spirit was up in heaven getting its celestial glory. I wasn’t that different from this person quoted above in how I justified a bad thing as a greater good. If it is really so good then why wouldn’t you prevent your own child from being baptized? The illogic of faith runs deep, and we often don’t even realize that it is religion that makes us call good things evil and evil things good. It is actually right there in the scriptures for when you are feeling intolerant. Sure there are things that Jesus said like:

“…suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.” – Mark 10:14.

You often get these quoted to you when the religious are talking about how great their moral guidance is because they follow scriptures. But that is the thing with scripture, seems like there is always a flip side you can apply, you know for those days you are feeling bigoted or intolerant, or maybe just confused. Here is one that applies to the way these kids need to act if they want to be baptized:

“If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.” – Luke 14:26

Here is one I have already seen making the rounds on this particular topic:

“Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.” – Matt 10:34-35

The more I check my internal moral compass with that of what I used to believe the more I realize this was a common way I shelved things that bothered me. You work to somehow call it a good thing. Which is entirely possible to do with the scriptures. You just need to you look for it. You can even justify killing those icky gays if you want, look – leviticus 20:13. Similarly you can justify slavery. Even cold blooded murder of a drunk person is condensed in holy writ. Just do a little digging through the scriptures and liken them to the situation however you please.

So if you want to shelve your discomfort at the idea of God keeping little kids from his one and only true church it is actually pretty easy to do. And that is the problem with religion. The brainwash if you will. It makes it easy to set aside your own moral compass, in fact it even threatens you with eternal damnation if you don’t. You wouldn’t want to risk God keeping you out of the CK by calling out his inspired leadership on this right? 1

Personally I hope to all that is cool in the name of the Fridge that this will be a wakeup call. Something to get people thinking about what their faith is really promoting. Is it love of fellow man or is it hate of someone different than you?

Who is really calling evil good and good evil? 

  1. Besides, if you are as old as me you even promised to never speak a single bad thing about church leaders less your throat would be slit ear from ear. There is plenty of damnation to risk by saying the leaders are wrong, that is for sure. But isn’t that the right thing to do? Do what is right and let the consequence follow?