The Parable of the Leprechaun Test

10 TRAITS OF THE LEPRECHAUN

If you read through this list and find that most or all of these traits parallel your own, then there is a good chance that you (or at the very least: your ancestors) may be an honest to god Leprechaun.  May the Luck of the Emerald Isle be with ye.

1. Leprechauns have a propensity towards all things golden.  If someone handed you a golden coin, told you to keep it and you experience feelings of happiness because of their golden gift…then you may be a leprechaun.

2. Leprechauns are fond of the color green.  Look around you now.  Can you see the color green, if you can then you may have been drawn to that location by the alluring tendrils of that object’s emerald aura, and …you might be a leprechaun.

3. Leprechauns wear a wide range of clothing during their lifespan (favoring naturally the color green, but their wardrobe is not exclusive.)  Thinking back over your life, consider whether the type, color or size of your clothing has ever changed over the years.  More especially try to identify if at any point you may have worn clothing that could now be considered “tiny.”  If you can…then you may be a leprechaun.

4. Leprechauns are drawn inexplicably to rainbows, and all things refracted.  If you have ever looked up to the skies and seen a rainbow without it being pointed out to you…then you might be a leprechaun.

5. Leprechauns become increasingly protective of their stash of gold the larger it becomes, often hiding it in holes, hollow trees, and vaults.  If you have ever stored your money for safe keeping ( say for example in a bank or a sock drawer)…then you may be a leprechaun.

6. Leprechauns come out of the womb with little bowler hats on their newly born heads.  They are crazy about hats.  If you have ever worn a hot, noticed other people wearing hats, or even thought about hats (particularly bowler hats)…then you might be a leprechaun.

7. Leprechauns favor beef and mead not only at feast time, but also during lunch and supper.  Less well known, however, is their love of bread.  Ever had a sandwich?  A roll?  Pizza, tortilla, mini loaf, pita, flat bread? A hamburger, breadstick, a  cinnamon roll?  Ever had a piece of toast?  Chances are…you may be a leprechaun.

8. Leprechauns are constantly aware of their surroundings, they vigilantly observe all of the sights and sounds around them, wary to be caught .  If you have eyes or ears, or have ever played a game of tag…then you might be a leprechaun.

9. Leprechauns, when properly trained, can be powerful wielders of magical and arcane powers.  If you have ever hoped in, waited for gifts from, or told your children stories about magical creatures, people or objects…then you may be a leprechaun.

And the final and greatest measure of whether you may be a Leprechaun:

10.  Leprechauns are real.  If you are real…then, hot damn, you might be a leprechaun.

I hope this list helps all those of you who may have gone through life up until now uncertain of your mystical heritage.  And to all of my new Leprechaun kin I say:  “Heya!  What’s the craic?  And Welcome to the clan!”